Where I Am
I’m happy happy and proud of myself for how far I’ve come. From being in a highly toxic relationship to homeless for a year, traveling across the country and now starting a family with someone who has waited for me to be with him for 10 years. My life isn’t perfect; my twin soul is dead and yet we still have a relationship, my family is 3k miles away, and being pregnant is kind of shitty in that I’m sore all the time and I can’t drink like I used to.
My goal is to continue working as I have been and work on my ability to get a home in 5 years. Also I want to have another kid in 2 or 3 years. It is possible! Rick loves his job and also collects disability. With me having a kid, as long as we don’t marry, I will get an additional 200mo which is helpful but I do want to get married. I won’t lose my disability if I do but he will lose his because he’s in SSI and I’m on SSDI but idk if I get disqualified for child disability benefits.
Erik is very happy!
He’s excited for me to meet our child. I say “our” because he’s agreed to be a spiritual guardian like a spirit guide to them. It’s like as above so below. I’ll have a family here and a spiritual family within our astral home. My late grandma came by to visit and express her joy. It was because of her I called to tell my grampa the good news. Hes very very happy so she urged me to visit him this year. I’ve already started saving my money from hosting karaoke to buy plane tickets. In no time I’ll be making arrangements. Hopefully in a month.
There is no other person Erik would want me to be with. Of course he loves Rick because they are both so similar. He reminds me all the time that Rick isn’t my twin soul. Honestly I wouldn’t have minded if Rick really was my twin soul only because hep is alive and having a dead twin soul isn’t very glamorous. But I know in my heart Erik is of course and I feel very lucky to have both of them in my life no matter what!
Anyway I had just a few minutes to relax before going to work. I decided to not take the bus because it’s so hot and I have a very long day. After work I have the gig as the karaoke host at the bar. 😴 I’m so very tired but I’m motivated and excited about my life.