flameontheotherside:

I’m….. PREGNANT!

Before anyone gets excited, this is the second time I’ve gotten a positive result. Only this time the line is very noticeable where the other time it was barely there. However I’m confused; since I’ve stopped taking my birth control pills two months ago I’ve only have had one period and it was so light idk if I could even call it that. Then got my blood tested which came out to be negative. Since then I’ve not had my period.

Now, I did acid 3 weeks ago (if you have ever done acid before you know what I mean) and my boobs started hurting a little around that time and has been hurting here and there. More so since last week. Normally they hurt a week before my period so I took the test (6 days sooner test) and did it twice resulting in two positives. I’ve sent and email including the pictures if my tests asking for an appointment. Unfortunately I won’t see my Dr for a while and it’s actively pissing me off because I have so much anxiety.

Those are the tests I took last week. I’m contemplating on going to urgent care or the hospital to get another test done just because my anxiety over this is so bad. Like I want to have a kid and I’m at a point in my life now where financially it’s feasible and very doable.

What does this mean for Erik and I?

Well of course Erik will be a guardian! He’s offered to introduce me to the spirit of my unborn child but I’m not quite ready yet. I think when I know for certain this is a for sure deal then I’ll feel a little more comfortable but I wouldn’t mind a dream visitation.

For now I’m not drinking but I’m still smoking weed. I’m also eating more fruits and veggies. Also I’ve had to stop taking some if my meds….🙃 This is going to be a nightmare. Without my meds or meds that work I can’t concentrate which means I won’t be able to hear Erik properly, or use my intuition. I’ll be in a foggy hell until I can get on meds that work and not harm the baby.

I’m a little excited. My mom is freakishly excited. Like it’s kind of annoying because she’s been wanting a grandchild for a while and I’m like the only one of my siblings that wants kids and is financially stable. Odd because my twin brother and his hubby have careers and a whole house and yet they aren’t quite there yet. I guess being in disability has it’s advantages.

😘💕 Well I need to rest, good night!

This time it immediately said I was pregnant lmao. Like “Bitch did I studder?!”

My boobs are hurting pretty bad today. I couldn’t go back to sleep with also so much on my mind.

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