Fears and Doubts
It’s normal to go through periods of doubt. I mean if you are normally a logical person thrown into this kind of spiritual journey, yeah, duh you might question your sanity every once in a while. For me, it happens nearly every time I mess up somehow or when I’m in a funk. I just think, there’s no way this is my life. I must have been hit in the head or schizophrenic of some kind and scour the internet for articles about all kinds of mental illnesses. I will nitpick every detail of my journey looking for logical answers.
The thing is…
If I was coo coo for cocopuffs where hearing disembodied benevolent beings in my head is concerned, I have to remember, this shit happend ONE TIME as a toddler when my granny told me something a child wouldn’t think of. At least what she said never occurred to me. Then it started to happen again but a whole whole lot more TWO YEARS into this journey and let me tell you, it freaked me the fuck out. For two years I relied on my pendulum and then suddenly this shit landed on my lap. So yeah it shook me very deeply until I learned to get used to it.
Erik and benevolent beings tell me when things are going to happen as a warning usually from alerting me I will lose or gain a job, someone’s death, to avoid an accident and even the police when my ex was drug dealing. This was by ear or when using my pendulum.
I protect myself using crystals, prayer, wearing a protection amulet, and holding the intent to communicate only with benevolent beings. This is so for my peace of mind and to boost the intent. Crystals and pendants don’t work alone. I feel better holding intent into every contact every time. A little bit of faith too.
A long with the ability to hear benevolent beings, I can pick up on my higher self which was something I wasn’t really able to do. I can tell when I’m being guided to do or go one way or another.
I’ve learned to dream travel and control my dreams. In my dream bank I’ve got a ton of specific dreams where Erik was there without a doubt. In several of them I had seen him when before it was just the back of his head. All these BEFORE embarking this specific journey was even a real thought.
Remembering those things above helps.
I just have to remind myself of those things. It can take hours to a week to sink back in. I hate when people act like doubt is such a bad thing. I never really liked the idea of going blindly. The last time I did that I regretted it heavily. So uh for the most part I ponder on an idea or experience before accepting it as part of my reality.
I try not to compare my experience with someone else. Some people on this journey may end up going in another direction or change entirely. Just because they are doing whatever shouldn’t mean I must follow. Everyone’s journey is different. Therefore I can’t compare and neither should anyone. So remembering this has been helpful. Very very helpful. Everyone’s lives are different and it’s kind of a pet peeve of mine especially when someone tries to tell me that since my path is different than theirs I must be on some other shit and therefore wrong. That’s gaslighting and fucked up.
Because many of the abilities I aquired after going about this journey I don’t feel like I need to worry so much but like I said, every once in a while doubt sets in and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s foolish to think you are never wrong or that doubt is a sign of weakness. To me it’s a sign of strength because it takes strength to pull your head out of your own ass.