Taking my ass to therapy… 😑

Yeah Erik is happy I’ve called the office. They are out until tomorrow so I’ll have to call then unless I somehow “forget”. The reason it’s like pulling teeth is because I’ve seen specialists my whole childhood and as an adult never really got along with them. I have a difficult time with talking to them because many have dismissed me or tried to slap me with a diagnosis they aren’t even trained or meant to give me.

Their job is to help me cope with my already existing issues. Not add more. I also don’t have patience with being talk to like I’m five so when I ask them to not it’s like they ignore me. Then I’ve had therapists who seemed crazier than me like the one from high school who was too much into Harry Potter for my liking. She’s a grown fucking women wtf is her office like a Harry Potter shrine. Creepy and gross and I fucking hated her but she was an excuse to miss class and get candy.

So I’m hesitant but I’m willing to try again…

Ugh I hate how some therapists appear to not listen or listen but give generic responses. My favorite is “how does that make you feel?” It’s so fucking cliche and overdone that I refuse to answer the question. The therapists I didn’t like made me snarky back to more of the same asshole therapists.

The one therapist I actually got along with was before this journey. Didn’t realize it at the time but he sort of looked like Erik. It’s doesn’t matter. What mattered was besides being adorable, he listened and we were about the same age so we could talk about my interests and it felt like talking to a friend. I didn’t feel judged or like I was a joke. I did sooooo well seeing him that my issues slowly faded away. No, I wasn’t in love with him. That’s weird. That’s like being in love with your school teacher. Ew…I never understood that.

When my therapist left the practice, I plummetted.

They couldn’t find me another therapist. I then had to look again and the other one I really liked was in Texas. She was very cool. A little older but she said she’s on the spectrum too and she made herself seem like we were on the same team. Even if it was a lie, it helped a little. When I had plans to move here in Tacoma, I just stopped seeing her

I prefer female doctors usually. Men are dicks and think they know everything. Women are a little bit more understanding but most I’ve seen were nutters or talk to me like I’m 5. Honestly not looking forward to doing this but I’m also tired of my depression and anxiety getting in the way of my life….and tired of Erik bringing up therapy every other week

😘💕 Stay warm, love y’all!

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