Planning our family 😍
It’s hard to explain because it’s there in my mind but it’s hard to put in words. So I’m trying to translate this the best I can. Lol 😆
So obviously my future children will be human but spiritually they will be the “product” of my higher self and Erik’s higher self. We would be a spiritual family. My higher self and his higher self would be sort of “god” parents to those I have here on earth like spirit guides.
The whole thing to me feels magical.
I don’t do corny but yeah for lack of a better word it feels nice. Warm and fuzzy. I look forward to this and writing about every step of the way. My period didn’t come this month. It could be because it was supposed to come while we moved out and a few days of being out here in the wilderness.
Took a test and it was negative but it got me and Rick thinking that getting pregnant now wouldn’t necessarily be the end of the world. We are getting up in age. He will be 34 next month and I’m 34 four months after. Coincidentally on the same day! Anyway Rick and I still did the nasty even without my birth control pills. I lost them during the move and was supposed to start a new pack after the period that didn’t come. It took 2 days to get Walgreens to do a replacement override. We obviously didn’t wait. So we are like again it won’t be the end of the world if I get knocked up.
Of course I’ll still blog as usual!
The thought of me being preggo and writing about it while on this journey kind of makes me laugh. Erik jokes that it would be funny seeing me be emotional and shit when I’m otherwise the opposite. 😆 I get emotional and weird when I PMS. It just might be one hell of a ride lmao.
Rick and I are lucky because neither of us need to work being that we are both on disability. Being a stay at home mother like I always wanted makes me look forward to it. I understand that some women want to work and raise children. It’s not for me. My mother was hardly around and when she was around, she really wasn’t. It was like her lights were always on but no one was home and I don’t want to put anyone through the type of shit my mom pulled just because she couldn’t keep her legs closed (like I did) as a teenager and into her 20s. I remember being 19 and 23 and trying to imagine being my mother. I went out of my way to not become that.
Anyway we leave the cabin tomorrow morning!
Unfortunately it’s been raining a lot and we won’t be able to cook up some food from the fire pit today 😭. It’s a lot of fun being here in the wilderness. Erik’s enjoyed it too walking around with me and checking out the campsite. It sucks the snow had melted since we got here but at least we got to enjoy it for a day. Tomorrow we are scheduled to move into our upgraded new apartment. A two bedroom for our music studio or if I end up preggo, just another bedroom. 😊