Watch “FML – Lyrics (K.Flay)” on YouTube

This sums up my life after I felt Erik was dead. A psychic told me the person I had a connection with would die. For a long time I felt I needed to look for him. So I partied and inspite of being on meds for my bipolar I did mdma, xtc, fake weed, crack, drank, slept all day, up all night etc. Honestly I had a death wish because I didn’t give a fuck about how I was damaging myself and it lead to a short stint in addiction to synthetic weed.

Everything about this song captures being bipolar too!

Obviously I cleaned up and started to take my meds seriously. It doesn’t change the fact this connection with Erik was there. He’s always here and sometime I miss that kind of life from back then. He’s not amused. He doesn’t want to see me like that. Lol so no that’s in the past now.

I did all that partying because as long as I wasn’t sober my intuition wouldn’t work. I couldn’t feel Erik or feel my calling back to being spiritual when I wanted nothing to do with it.