Thinking Of Escorting…🤔
I guess somethings like past life elements never really change. Lol 😂 Seriously I always thought I could be an escort. Not a prostitute. They are not the same thing. In my past lives I’ve been some type of prostitute or escort in some way. My bf even told me that with my last 3 ex bfs, I was technically exchanging my body and “love” for a roof over my head. Which was true. From 2010 to 2019 I never really loved them. They gave me a place to stay and I’d put up with them. In 2019 I finally became homeless for a year and I honestly don’t regret that experience!
My pattern was find someone preferably attractive with a home, move in, deal with them until I couldn’t anymore, find someone else, rinse and repeat. Even had been raped, called spousal rape. Shocking. In all seriousness I feel like I can work through an agency with my protection and well-being in mind vs doing so independently which is very dangerous. I rather work through a company and pay 30% commission per outing or whatever.
Obviously I’m not in that “life” anymore. There were times with my ex’s I thought I could settle but deep down knew it just wasn’t possible. Rick is completely different than my ex’s and I appreciate everything he does and who he is. I want to have a family with him. I make enough money that I could just live on my own which sounds nice but I really want to give this relationship a real try!
I hate the thought of Rick and I splitting and even more if he dies before me! He’s so much like Erik. They could be brothers! I honestly didn’t realize that until I moved in with him. I’d go off the deep end for sure. The thought of it makes me sick but I need to have a plan. I hate not having a plan.
Why would I do this?
It’s weird and hard to explain. Is it something I would do right now? Fuck no. I’m exploring my options. In the case Rick and I split in one way or another, I don’t see myself in a serious relationship again after Rick. I will have had tried to live a normal life, obviously that didn’t work. Escorting would be like getting paid to date some rando guy who is lonely or needs someone to attend things with. My love would all go to my TF in spirit.
I didn’t realize how it was easy to feign interest in someone. Until now. I do it all the time when we go out to bars. Some bored or lonely guy will start chatting it up with me and to be nice, I pretend to be interested, say nice things, and then I get hit with a free shots or beers. If I needed to save money, yeah I do that on purpose. Most of the time I hardly notice until I have a new drink in my hand. Do I feel bad? Not really. Men do this shit too in one way or another like get a chick drunk, fuck them, promise to call and poof.
Assuming I’ll be older…
I’ll have to get in shape and all that fun stuff. Always looking younger than my age, I’m confident my age isn’t going to be a problem. In fact, I wouldn’t tell them my age, share my social network pages, or bother with any of that stuff. 🤭🤣 Most people think I’m 5 to 10 years younger! I’m a bad liar but for money, I can make an attempt to make it work. Somehow. I think.
