I am not your guru!
Teaching was never my thing. My journey is just that. My journey. I might come off or seem like someone who is a sort of … knowledgeable if that’s the right word? 5 years are under my belt. As of 2021, that’s 5 years of learning and growing literally every single day unless I was sick or just unable. I know my journey very very fucking well so I don’t allow anyone to try to gaslight me on that fact.
If you find my blog helpful or because you might be going through the same experience, I need you consider to focus on your journey. Learn and experience as you go. It’s going to take a lot of work. No one can give you the cheat sheet or tell you what to do. Everyone is on a different path. Think for yourself and more importantly…
Learn to be okay with being wrong!
About everything. Every single thing you experience. This is not to say you are crazy because most of us aren’t. I think we would rather be normal but hey, not much we can do about it. You know what I mean if you’ve genuinely been there.
Wipe your slate clean. Remove everything you have learned in the past. If you joined twin flame groups? Ditch them. They are full of negativity. It’s kind of that “too many cooks in the kitchen” going on. As a chef out of practice it’s not pretty! I have 2 friends with TFs in spirit. We support and encourage each other and I love it that way. It’s positivity I wouldn’t get from a community that ironically believes in unconditional love. Says a lot about them. I will listen to your concerns but it’s not my job to validate you experience and it’s not your job to validate mine.
I know this journey is difficult and we are naturally social creatures. I get that. But I’ve become so frustrated with how the TF community behaves. I don’t want people to go through that. For me it wasn’t so bad but it could have been worse. Having heard stories, I’ve made it a personal sin to join groups related to TFs.
Be okay with being “alone”
No one’s ever really alone but having a TF who isn’t alive feels isolating. I suffered for years before I had the courage to begin this journey.
I will finish this later…. Meds are kicking in.
To clarify, I’ve said before that your TF who isn’t alive would likely want you to have a partner who is. I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about working independently or alone. There’s no extra noise to distract you and likely, you won’t really find a lot of other people like us online writing in blogs like this one. Not to say we are special but most people on this kind of journey aren’t usually eager to share their story like I am and for a good reason! Being part of a large group or the TF community, it’s just a distraction. You need focus to work with your TF. Unfortunately (and ironically) it’s big TF groups where you might find someone like me or the 2 other friends I have. It’s very very unfortunate. We are not easy to find. Part of why I have this blog!
When your TF isn’t alive, you can go through a process of “Merging”. You become literally one mindone body. No, it’s not possession because you have complete control. You just become aware and it’s similar to channeling but two people who are alive can do this too. I believe it’s a similar process and that having a TF who is on the other side is easier. I’m just speculating.
Your TF IS your guru!
Having a TF in spirit, they are always going to want to work with you may it be, traumas, past lives, developing your intuitive skills further, even help you become a better person in this life. In the 5 years I’ve been on this journey, we have done exactly that!
The best part is if your TF isn’t alive, they won’t give you grief. Lol I mean they won’t be assholes or make you angry on purpose. Sure I get frustrated because having to heal trauma is hard. It’s not supposed to be easy, people. Like all relationships this is no different. They just want the best for you, they are encouraging, loving, attentive, protective, honest, and always willing to help you on your journey.
Choose your friends wisely!
So the only voice you need to listen to and trust is your TF and a couple people on the same journey as you who are compassionate, encouraging, supportive, and who do not act like they have a PHD. Most of the time when someone acts or writes as a TF expert of any kind, they are just on an ego trip. They are the toxic or delusional part of the TF community that you don’t need.
Nope, still not a guru!
I offer advice. A wise voice for you to consider on your journey. It’s tough, it’s isolating, there’s grief because they aren’t alive, it’s confusing, but you don’t need to be completely alone either. I cannot validate your journey. You cannot validate mine. But we can support each other, offer real positive encouragement.
Some days I’m crying and I do reach out to a friend. I’m not perfect. What’s made me strong is the support I have spiritually, my bf and the few friends I have and trust. Taking a break and then dusting myself off and do it again. Your TF in the other side may even urge you to do so. Either way, they will always understand that your mental health is important.
Don’t give up!
Believe in yourself most of all. Work as much and as hard as you can at strengthening your communication with your TF. Take a break when you need to. Do it for ever how long you must, but get back on that horse and keep at it! The work will reward you in so many ways. I’ve seen real miracles happen and I used to be agnosticathiest! That line of communication is the very most important thing you need on this journey.