We MIGHT Move! 🏑 🚚

I placed my interest in the 2 bedroom apartment across the street today. It was kind of funny actually. Erik told me to check for availability and sure enough our apartment complex has a bigger place available. About as big as my condo back in Florida so I’m excited. We meet the requirements so it’s really just about the moving logistics if that’s the right word.

If we can somehow pull this off, next month I will be way too busy to mope and sulk around the apartment over Erik’s death. I was just talking to Erik about how when Matt was alive I’d go on and on about Erik. πŸ₯ΊπŸ€§ It killed me to hear Erik say how they are friends now.

It’s so fucked up to me…

Idk why I guess because Matt and I were inseparable pretty much ride or die. He’s dead now and I’m just here kind of feeling like a failure and actually jealous? Idk it just feels so fucked up. Alex is gone and we were close but we drifted apart. It doesn’t bother me that Alex and Erik hang out at all. I just rather not know anything about Matt, Alex and Erik being friends. At least outside of the band thing we got going on at the Astral home or venture we play at.. It’s stupid but its a bit much for me.

Was talking to Erik but had to stop for a few minutes. I’ve known Matt was dead and friends with Erik for a while but didn’t want to believe it until Erik straight up came out and said it. He’s got a habit of confirming my feelings/intuition and just about blasting my ear with it πŸ˜‘. So I looked at Matt’s Facebook and saw all these RIP posts. Sometimes I really really really hate when Erik is right about shit. Except this time when we told me an apartment was now available. Thats some good shit right there and I can’t wait to talk to the office tomorrow.

Moving won’t be hard.

It’s literally across the street. The concern is what floor because we have a lot of equipment. I wouldn’t want to move unless it’s really worth it. Like it has to be the way I want it or I’ll wait for another opening. I’m pretty sure Rick agrees with me on that. We live in an old dump. Nothing is new. I heard the apartments across the street are renovated. Idk why if it’s the same neighborhood why half is a dump and the other half supposedly isn’t. That’s kind of retarded. Anyway I really hope we can work something out. I really could use a distraction.

My depression has been so bad, my hormones are fucked.

They are already fucked up πŸ™„ so it’s worse. My period appears to be early by a whole week and I can’t tell if I’m PMSing or depressed. Maybe a mix of both now so I’ve been keeping myself busy watching Netflix and TV while I work. If I’m not busy, my mind wanders and it’s all downhill from there. All I’ll do is sleep, cry and not shower. I’ve not showered since Saturday. I’ve also not been eating a lot. At least I’m eating.

Btw, Erik’s not telling me anything I don’t already know. He’s not harming me in anyway so don’t get it twisted. Like I’ve said, I’ve known Matt had been dead and I’ve known they are friends. It just hurts to know Matt’s gone and shit. Guess I’ll go back to talking to Erik before I call it a night. I don’t want to talk to Alex or Matt. I don’t get a kick out of talking to dead people at this point in my life. Especially Matt because it’s way too soon. Alex has been gone almost 2 years and I’ve not bothered with him either.

πŸ˜˜πŸ’• Good night, wish us luck!

This entry was posted in tumblr blog and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.