“Beautiful” 😏

Growing up, I was the awkward, annoying, autistic ugly duckling. Often I’d hear some shit like that most people who grow up this way grow up to be swans. 🙄 Like, are you fucking kidding me?! So I went to beauty school during my senior year. Then took to YouTube to learn more about makeup and fashion. These days I “listen” to my higher self to guide me.

It took me a few years to find my way. A couple days ago, I did my makeup and 🙄 I looked like one of those Instagram chicks. I don’t like doing it all the time. When I’m depressed or feeling shitty, I go all out. So on Saturday I walked in the bar and literally half of the people there stared at me. My friends told me I looked like a totally different person rofl 🤣. Well fuck, okay then!

My confidence was through the roof.

You’d think I’d do my make up like that all the time but I’m a tomboy. I don’t like wearing cake face all the time. It’s tedious and time-consuming. Like, it took me over and hour to do it right. I should have taken a picture. Maybe this week I’ll do it again 🙃. At the other bar though because I don’t want people expecting me to be wearing my cake face all the time. Fuck that noise.

I flirted with a younger man a bit. He was really cute. My thing is that I’m not used to being looked at or told how “hot” I am. I didn’t even have to fish for a compliment. On Saturday I didn’t even have to. People complimented me left and right almost every 15 minutes and immediately when I walked in the bar. Anyway, I straight up flirted because it was fun. Then pointed proudly to my bf. A plain, lanky, tall, metal-head…I’ve had people tell me that I’m way out if his league. Told the guy I was flirting with that was my bf and the look on his face was priceless. “Really? That guy?”

Being the “cake” that can’t be touched is fun.

I don’t like being talked to online. People online are fake. I can’t see them so I must assume they are fake and thirsty. Being friendly with men in person and knowing they don’t have a chance in hell with me feels so good. All because I was constantly rejected and made to feel like I wasn’t worth 2 cents.

Don’t worry, I’m careful. I have a few friends who tell me who not to talk to and really look out for me. Sean was a guy one of my older friends said he had a thing for me. I don’t even like him like that. I just liked talking to him about life and bullshit. It was evident when he showed up last Saturday and acted stand-off-ish. Didn’t understand why he seemed to want to avoid me. So I asked another friend and that’s what I heard….OH WELLLLLLLL! 🤷‍♀️ Not really my problem.

It’s okay for guys to be this way, why can’t I?

Thats the way I see it. My bf understands and he doesn’t give a shit. Because at the end if the night, I’m going home with him and I love pointing him out as my bf as these men look on confused, salty, or curiously. I tell them how we met and say that Rick is the best man I know. I make sure to point out men who act thirsty the way they do, are usually pieces of shit. My way of saying even if I was single I wouldn’t trust them anyway.

My bf might not be a model (and I’ve dated these types) but he’s not a piece of shit. Rick is really the best man I know 😊. He also might not have tats or wears his earring but he’s still the best man I know.

😘💕 Stay safe my friends!

….And get your fucking vaccinations lol

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