I’m Jealous

Look, I’m not perfect. I still believe that it’s silly to be jealous because the grass isn’t always greener on the other side and you don’t know what goes on behind closed doors. It really annoys the fuck out of me to see people my age or younger get married and having kids. I’ll never have that with my TF because he’s dead. Usually people’s TF is alive and due to circumstances can’t be together. Well at least yours is alive! Try pretending they are dead and see how that fits for size. 🤦‍♀️ Well it may not be too hard but it still sucks I guess no matter how you look at it. *sigh*

Don’t get me wrong. I love my bf and I love him enough to want him to be a father but he wants to wait for us to be financially stable. He’s waiting around for his job to contact him. I don’t remember if he’s called them or not. They did call him in for work but we would have been in Florida so he asked that they skip him and call for another event. He’s a stage hand and events are coming back now with the country re-opening.

I totally get his reasoning.

But my worry is that if they never ask him to go to work again. What is he going to do? He’s taken an offer to work for guitar center from a friend. However, they aren’t hiring right now. Them out of all the places that seem to be hiring. It’s one of the few thing Rick can do well. I have a job as well so if Rick can somehow manage to get back in to work, we will be able to afford the things we need.

Isn’t it corny and smug how newlyweds get? Of I ever get like that, just fucking slap me. Oh it’s so much worse when people are pregnant. Like: YOU’RE CARRYING A PARASITE, NOT A NOBEL PRIZE WINNER FOR FUCKS SAKE! lol 🤣 Fucking he’ll. Slap me double if I ever get like that. It’s so gross. Yuck! 😆 lol I crack myself up sometimes.

I’d be such a cool mom though!

….And a neurotic one too because of how my mom was. My mom wasn’t really the best and I’m going to desperately try to the opposite of what she had done in efforts to have normal children. Same for Rick. His mom is fucking psychotic, selfish, rude, and loud. She’s done so much fucked up shit, that’s why Rick had to move out here to Washington. While we were in Florida, I got to see first hand how awful she is.

😘💕 Good night!

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