I’m Not Alone

Last night I spoke with a few people who lost loved ones. One lady in particular lost her son. She talked about him and said how her son would have loved my bf and I. He also played bass like I do and sang. I started to cry hearing her story and as we talked I didn’t want to believe anything I heard or was saying.

It was so embarrassing to have a mini breakdown like I did but I was given so many shots of whiskey that it made it hard to keep myself together. It reminded me of 2010 when I’d get stupid drunk and lock myself in the bathroom or cry in the bar or club parking lot. I was a sad drunk. Being a sad drunk, it very hard to be low-key. I bawled and grieved without understanding for sure why I was grieving so much.

How do you explain it to people without sounding like a psycho?

I couldn’t? So my coping mechanism was drugs and alcohol mixed in with psych meds. My bf was away when I started to cry. The lady held my arm and I tried to look together in time but Rick saw me anyway. It kindnof pissed me off but she kept talking and it just made it worse. Finally something happened. Idk what it was causing the topic to change.

The great thing about being on this journey is that in so many ways, I’ve learned that I’m not alone. On the twin flame journey, on grief, and in friendship. I’ve made about 10 friends since I’ve come back from Florida. It’s kind of like the frequent-ers at the bar we go to realized how much life Rick and I bring to the place since we got back. Having felt alone and without friends, it makes me feel so good.

๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ’• I love you all!

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