I’m getting desperate

Desperate for a revolution

Some kind of spark

Some kind of connection

In these dangerous days

Come a little bit closer

I need to understand

Reminds of the beginning. Before I met Erik and the dreams became more frequent. I heard this song before back in 2016 and didn’t care for this song. But it began to make sense a year later. This reminds me of our lifetimes. I fought but he didn’t in any of them. It makes me kind if angry thinking about it.

Why we kill the things we love the most

Kill the things we love

Kill the things we love the most

Why we kill the things we love the most

Kill the things we love

Kill the things we love the most

But they don’t burn like we do

They don’t burn like we do

And even though our love is doomed

And even though we’re all messed up

We’re still waiting for tomorrow

We’re still aching for tomorrow

And even though our love is cruel

And even though our stars are crossed

You’re the only thing worth fighting for

You’re the only thing worth dying for

While things seem to be messed up in this life, it isn’t what it seems because we never were apart. He’s the reason I’m still alive. I lived because I wanted to find him and I live because I have found him. In my death, he’ll be there.

Don’t wanna be dead to life

Don’t wanna be dulled to extinction

Don’t wanna be lost in dreams

Don’t wanna be caught sleepwalking

Maybe I should break the chain

Maybe I should break the connection

Such strange little birds

Devoured by our obsessions

The times I felt this journey was a joke. My logical side wants to fight with my heart. I don’t want to fall into craziness and I don’t want to be thought of as a crazy person. Several times I’ve thought of giving all of this up because I feel unqualified to handle this. Breaking the chain means breaking all of my pendulums I use to communicate with him but I don’t need them anymore anyway. It wouldn’t work.

Can you love me for what I’ve become

Love me for what I

Said that I would not become

Can you love me for what I’ve become

Love me for what I

Said that I would not become

Cause they don’t burn like I do

They don’t burn like I do

Sometimes I get so angry about being on this path. Frustrated with everything. After I promise to not give up, I frequently go back to wanting to give up. It seems easier to drop this and forget about it but I’ve come so far or have gone so far down.

And even though your love is cruel

And even though our stars are crossed

We’re still waiting for tomorrow

We’re still aching for tomorrow

And even though our love is doomed

And even though we’re all messed up

You’re the only thing worth fighting for

You’re the only thing worth dying for

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