Earlier anon here! Hear me out: Is it possible that you feel guilt over the antisemitism latent your life as a non-Jew? Is there something that draws you to Judaism, like a desire to convert? Could these two realities be distressing to your identity? I say this only bc I am converting to Judaism, and have had nightmares where I’m complicit in the terrible N@zi regime. I speak only from my experience. I hope this helps in some way.

Thank you very much for your input. Its refreshing. I didn’t want to identify as a nazi. I thought I expressed my confusion. Because the dreams I have are very intense and very real to me. Like to the point I’m afraid to sleep sometimes because its frightening. I never asked for these dreams to happen. They just happened.

I have a fear of people in uniform. Like as a minority, but not specifically because of that. Its hard to explain.

Anyway I’m glad that you understand my intent wasn’t out-of malice but compassion and deep emotional connection.

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