Recorded in ‘07 or ’08 with my younger brother, Eddie and some random big guy.

The only reason I’m keeping this video is for demonstration on Mental Illness…

So if this poses as a trigger you may feel free to talk to me. This was sort of my own “cry for help” and I even said how I did harm myself. I cringed and felt the urge to punch something for doing something this stupid. I was never one to talk about my feelings or being honest about how I was. It hurt a lot to watch this but I’m glad to have done so without feeling too awkward. You can obviously see I’m masking and doing a pretty damn good job doing it..

After that brief “demonstration” we were just being silly 20 year-olds. Myself especially being the most obnoxious and loud out of all of them.

When I watched this now 2019 it hurt to hear the big guy in the back say I should take a bullet to the head. Then my brother says something about how “all the tylenol was gone”. I think what he meant was what we called “Tripple C’s” or Cordeciden (It’s spelled wrong I know) Cough and Cold. I had been abusing it kind of like “Robo-tussin”. My heart just sank. I may have appeared to be okay but I really wasn’t. I wanted to change the title but thought maybe it’s important to keep it for the sake of sharing? What do you think? Should I change the title?

Suicide isn’t funny and what I did was probably unacceptable. I mean uploading it or maybe even recording it.

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