Putting it all together

Met Donna (one of Erik’s spirit guides), talked to my deceased father (who Erik so cutely asked for my hand in marriage for our next life) and talked to… Jillian. His supposed “heavenly girlfriend”.

It was interesting.

More interesting to know that Erik had used Jillian to sort of portray me because well, to say he’s in love with a human like that… You get the idea. It sucks because it confused the shit out of me. She confirmed it and it was enough to send me off into a dive in the depression pool. I’m really starting to dislike her. Why did she have to say that?!

Yaaaaaaaaaaay… 😑

Curveballs. Fine. But completely and utterly blindside me and make me question my sanity and possibly lack thereof is not cool. Yeah they are sorry but holy shit dude. I’m shaken.

I wasn’t planning on posting this but Erik insisted. So I read the article about his perceived “heavenly girlfriend”. Makes me gag now that I know what’s up. Made me want to throw up going to the blog I purposefully avoid and for good reason. What was described was so spot on. I want to believe that maybe it was a mistranslation or misunderstanding. But no, Erik insisted and insisted that he did use her and plenty of times did talk about me but spun it around so. Not to confuse people….or was it they did. Idk.

… I don’t know what the fuck is going on!

I’m just terrified. Remembering how he basically used me in that life in France. I didn’t become a Saint. I became a nun after being abused and supposedly had fallen for my abuser. My job as Vanessa was helping children on the other side and I called them “monas” which was a name I gave to my toy dolls as a child. I always wanted to be a social worker/grade school teacher for children but didn’t want the baggage that came with it so I never perused it.

People always commented on my “hippie” style. I’ve been given hand-me-down jewelry and clothes in that style, I always preferred homemade accessories like macrame bracelets and necklaces, I made that kind of jewelry too. I sleep with a red bandana on to avoid bed-head and keep it on around the house because I’m lazy. I’m a fucking stoner and for crying out loud… And I did… I feel like I’ve lost my mind. I donno what the fuck is going on and I don’t like any of it.

In every life we had Erik just wasn’t getting it. Now he’s caught up to me on the spiritual level and it’s a step much closer to “the finish line”. I reread the entry Abigail wrote and I just about had a panic attack.

(ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧Don’t forget to take a look at Erik’s blog ran by his amazing mom Dr Elisa Medhus. Lots of stuff about his afterlife and shit.(◕‿◕)♡

… And YouTube

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